The way you communicate is the primary determinant of whether the person you are interacting with will listen and think about what you say, be indifferent to it, OR, fight like heck against it. We've made a list of the most common, and detrimental ways of communicating that usually completely block the communication process.

Needless to say, if you want to reduce arguments, and have your position heard and considered, whether at home or at work, these approaches should be avoided.

People tend to resist communication, argue, or perceive conflict when the other person:

• Provides unsolicited advice

• Appears to be trying to create guilt in another

• Offers reassurances that are hollow or not based on reality

• Communicates using "gloss it over" positive thinking

• Offers sympathy that seems false or lacking in understanding

• Pressures a person to change (opinion, position or as a person)

• Appears to want to blame rather than fix

• Clearly wants to "win" by proving someone wrong

• Comes across as infallible (in their own mind)

• Uses excessive dramatic language and histrionics

• Uses certain kinds of "hot words", words and phrases that have a heavy emotional connotation.

Stop Letting Conflict Control YOU Learn to manage conflict by "using your head", rather than your heart. Find out about pro's and con's of different conflict methods. Click here to preview Using Your Head to Manage Conflict Helpcard.

Robert Bacal is a noted author, keynote speaker, and management consultant. His most recent books include Performance Management - A Briefcase Book, and The Complete Idiot's Guide To Dealing With Difficult Employees. The Work911 Supersite contains many more free articles and tips on a number of workplace topics. Access it at www.work911.com . Robert can be contacted via e-mail at ceo@work911.com or by phone at (613) 764-0241.

For more information on this and other workplace topics, including free helpcards, discussion lists and book chapters go to the Work911 supersite.